The shortlist will be announced on Monday, November 7, and then people will get to vote on their favorite of six entries.
From Alejandra Digiovanni's perspective:
Oh yes, I'm anxiously awaiting the results on the 7th.
But right now, here are all four of my entries together:
From Corey Pendergraft's perspective:
I ran along the trail, quiver banging against my shoulder
blades in a rhythmic—and rather painful—thump, thump, thump.
I gripped the
hilt of my sword, also conveniently knocking against my hipbone, and scowled.
Why in all
Renaissance did Marcor have to tell my father I wasn’t actually scouting the Villein
route all those afternoon hours? I never told on Marcor when he went off
scouting for the prettiest girls by the water well, when he was supposed to be
standing guard by the town gates.
“I’ll get him,”
I muttered to myself, dodging a branch that extended over the trail.
A horse whinnied
in the distance, and I stumbled to a halt, scanning the forest.
Movement. Over
there, in the trees to the left.
I dived into the
sparse underbrush by the side of the trail and laid low, glad I was wearing
green and brown and not those idiotic red-and-gold tunics my father often
demanded I put on.
“Is anyone
there?” a voice called.
No. There is
certainly not anyone there and I suggest you get out of here. Hell’s about to
break loose and all that.
“Hello?”
Goodbye. Why
aren’t you going away yet?
“I could’ve
sworn I heard someone,” I heard the girl mutter—it was definitely a girl from
her voice.
Her horse
snorted.
“What is it,
Broman?”
The horse didn’t
reply. Good horse.
“Come on,
Broman.”
I heard the
sound of a horse heading down the trail. I relaxed.
Inching upwards,
I peered over the top of the bushes.
The girl stood on
the trail, an arrow nocked in my direction.
We stared at
each other, and then I had my own arrow out and aimed at her. I walked out onto
the trail and faced her, less than thirty paces apart.
“You’re fast,”
she said, indicating my bow and arrow.
“You’re sneaky,”
I replied.
“What?” She
looked confused.
“Never mind. Who
are you?”
She shifted her
bow. “And why should I tell you that?”
“Because I have
an arrow pointed at you.”
“So do I.”
“That’s
irrelevant.”
“It is not!”
“Yes, it is.”
She shook her
head. “Just tell me where I can find the town of Renaissance, and I’ll put down
my bow.”
“Really. Well,
since you had to force me upon pain of death to get me to say, the town’s further
down this trail.”
She nodded.
“Thank you.” A pause. “Why were you running from it?”
“You heard me?
Why didn’t you say ‘come out, come out, wherever you are’, then?”
“Because that
would be stupid. Broman,” she called, and her horse emerged from the trees.
“A fine animal,”
I said, looking Broman over.
“You say that
like you don’t mean it.”
I shrugged.
“Horses can’t compare to riding the imbrangilae.”
“Imbrangilae?”
“You’ve never
heard of them?”
“They can’t be
rode.”
“Yes, they can.
I’ve done it.” And my father thinks I’m a fat, stinking liar because I told him
so.
“Do you know who
the leader of this town is?”
“There’s no
leader. There’s just a council of old fogies.”
She snorted.
Then, as if in some kind of accord, we put down our bows.
“I need to speak
with these fogies.”
“Why do you need
to speak with them?” I didn’t add my father was one of them.
“Because there’s
an army coming.”
I stared at her.
“An army?”
“Yes. Down the
Villein.”
I cursed. An
army was coming down the Villein—just the road I had avoided on scouting
missions for the past three months.
I expected him to ask how many soldiers
there were.
But instead he looked behind me.
“Question.”
“Yes?” I shifted, impatient to get to
Renaissance.
“Hope you don’t mind imbrangilae.
Because one’s flying toward us.”
I whirled and spotted the descending
black form.
“Oh no,” I whispered.
I ran down the path, toward the boy—who
just stood as the rhythmic beat of wings grew deafening.
“Get out of the way!” I shouted.
“I told you! I can ride the
imbrangilae!”
“Don’t be idiotic!”
I grabbed him and tried to drag him
away, but he was too strong.
The imbrangilae landed on the path,
cold air blowing past as it exhaled, and I pulled close to the boy.
Hoping, by some miracle, he really
could handle the thing.
It was a hideous creature. Mismatched
eyes, bulbous skin, wings like they’d been chewed by rats and mended by
spiders.
The boy grinned.
“Nabil,” he said.
I sucked in a breath as the creature
extended its head, leaning close.
And closer, until I thought my spine
would crack with not moving.
It nudged him, blasting more chill as
it snorted.
The boy shook free of my grip and
walked around the imbrangilae, stroking its hide. Then he climbed, using its
joints to hoist himself up just in front of the wings.
I expected the creature to buck. But it didn’t—it sat there, cleaning its face.
I expected the creature to buck. But it didn’t—it sat there, cleaning its face.
“How many soldiers are there?” he
called.
“Around two thousand.”
“Renaissance has 333 people.”
“So precise?”
“My father’s chronic about it.”
“Your father?”
“He’s, um, one of the councilpersons.”
I stared at him.
“You’re not Corey Pendergraft, are
you?”
His head flew up.
“How’d you know?”
“I’m Alejandra Digiovanni. From the
Espadon River clan?”
“Oh.”
His face turned guilty. “I know I disappeared
when you visited Renaissance before, but—“
“You were supposed to marry me!”
“Does it matter to you?”
“No. But . . .”
“But?”
I sighed. “Every suitor I see tells me
I’m ugly. You didn’t even bother.”
“You’re not ugly. You’re—pretty.
Beautiful, I—“
“Just tell me how to get to the
council.”
“Get up here.”
I violently shook my head.
“Why not?”
“For one, I can’t just leave Broman—“
“He seems like a smart horse. And
imbrangilae will be faster.”
“But—“
“You won’t fall.”
“I’m not worried about falling—“
An arrow whipped past and hit the side
of the imbrangilae—it bounced right off the skin—making it scream like metal on
stone.
Other arrows hit the dirt and a nearby
tree, just missing Corey.
I spun around, searching frantically,
but couldn’t see anyone.
Then a woman jumped down from a branch
overhead, arrow nocked.
I gasped, recognizing the symbol on her
shoulder: Chiavona Desert Clan.
She circled me as four others landed on
the path, swords out and flashing.
The imbrangilae roared, an angry,
dangerous sound.
The snipers paused and it whipped its
tail, slamming a man into a rock. A concentrated gust of freezing air turned a
second of the five into an icicle, and she collapsed.
Corey unsheathed his sword and hit two
of the snipers on the head with the hilt. I grabbed a knife in my boot,
throwing it at the nearest attacker.
It cut her shoulder and she staggered,
but she lunged with a dagger and nearly stabbed me. The imbrangilae screamed
again and struck her with a claw.
“Get up here!” Corey shouted.
I grabbed one of the imbrangilae’s
knobbles, climbing up and sliding in behind him.
“Up, Nabil!”
“Are you sure about this—“
“To Renaissance!” he cried.
From Nabil's (the imbrangilae's) perspective:
I shrieked again as another arrow hit my leg.
“To my father’s
house!” Corey shouted.
I twisted around
and looked at him. He hated his father.
“Trust me, Nabil.”
Fine, then.
The humans
lurched against my neck as I tore through the clouds, the freezing air
enveloping the lot of us.
“Is this creature
insane?” the female screamed, and I could sense her fear.
“Nabil always
travels through the clouds!” Corey shouted back. “I don’t know why!”
It was a short
trip to Renaissance. I landed in the central square, and the people nearby screamed
and ran.
I sighed. Gone
were the days when humans trusted us.
Corey jumped off
and ran toward his father’s building.
I helped the
female down my back by leaning to one side as she dismounted, earning a yelp.
She glared at me as she marched away.
I gave her a
grin made of incisors.
“Father!” Corey
exclaimed, as his father marched out of a nearby building.
I walked closer
to my human, sending a cool breeze into the approaching man’s face.
“Who is this
girl?” he demanded.
“Alejandra
Digiovanni. Who am I addressing?”
“Sir Anderson
Pendergraft,” the man said. Then he turned to his son. “Corey, I want to know
exactly what you think you were doing by running away!”
“Having fun.”
He glared.
I snorted in
disapproval.
“Oh, be still,
you cumbersome animal.”
A strangely
human idea, but I got the impulse to throw something at his head.
“An army is headed
this way,” the girl declared.
“Is there?” the
man asked.
“Two thousand
soldiers, at least. Your son said 333 people live here, so I would advise immediate
evacuation.”
“Miss Digiovanni,
our affairs—“
I rolled over
onto my side, convulsing. A few people who’d gathered in the square hopped
away, scattering like leaves.
“Is something
wrong with that animal?”
“Um . . . are
you all right, Nabil?” Corey asked.
I grinned again.
I couldn’t believe they didn’t know, when it was such common knowledge
to any imbrangilae.
“Er . . .”
“Speak up! I
will not have you mumbling like alley rubbish,” the man snapped.
“Nabil seems to
be . . . laughing.”
“Laughing,” the
female said. “Of all the things to do, that creature—“
“Is there a
reason, Father?”
“You trust that
animal more than me?”
“Yes.”
The man sighed.
“Yes, there is a
reason. No one can attack Renaissance,” he said.
I got to my feet
again. Now things were beginning to make sense.
“What?”
Corey demanded.
“The imbrangilae
protect it. They and the humans here made an agreement several hundred years
ago that they would shelter us. No one has attacked this town in decades, hence
it was never obvious to the current citizens of Renaissance.”
“And what do the
imbrangilae get in return?” my human asked.
Silence.
I glared at the
man.
“The humans
aren’t holding up their part of the deal,” the girl offered.
“That’s
disgraceful!” Corey cried.
“—But
regardless, doesn’t anyone care about the army?” she continued.
Corey’s father
replied, “If I know the imbrangilae, they’ll have run them off by now.”
I grunted in
affirmation.
“What’s that
sound?” someone in the crowd called out.
“It sounds like
a number of imbrangilae flying toward us,” Corey said.
The humans in
the square were flustered enough, but the prospect of so many of us sent them
panicking.
“Why are they
coming?” Corey shouted to his father, over the screams and yells.
“To settle the
agreement! They’ve decided it’s time we paid for not keeping our side of the bargain.”
From Corey Pendergraft's perspective yet again:
A huge imbrangilae landed in the square, and several more
landed in the streets, filling Renaissance with creatures practically everyone
despised. More hovered above, their freezing breath chilling the air.
“They’ll kill
us,” Alejandra whispered.
“Don’t be
ridiculous,” I replied. “Killing is the least the imbrangilae could do.”
She shook my arm.
“Shut up!”
“Well, you—“
“Estant,” my
father called.
The largest
imbrangilae roared.
“I apologize for
our past disregard of the treaty.”
“You . . .”
Estant rasped, in a horrible, ripping voice that should never have come from
something living, “. . . have broken that treaty more times . . . than we
imbrangilae remember. Your history lies in the dead . . . forms of imbrangilae
. . . who we trusted to you.”
“I know,
Estant,” my father murmured.
“Humans must pay
the price . . . of their actions.”
The crowd was
quick on the uptake.
“Kill them all!”
someone shouted.
“Burn them!”
screamed another. “We won’t die!”
“SILENCE,” boomed
Estant. “Did I ever mention . . . dying?”
“It was
implied,” my father said mildly.
“I will not have
your . . . insinuations. What I propose . . . is a trade. We imbrangilae . . .
want five of your . . . offspring.”
An outraged
woman cried, “They want our children?”
“We want to
train you . . . to understand us. I know we are ugly by . . . your standards.
But with knowledge, perhaps . . . we can come . . . to an alliance, however
tenuous.”
“Estant,” my
father said, “do you realize what you’re asking? To send children to your lairs,
to live with your kind?”
“Yes. Humans
killed seventeen imbrangilae . . . in the past century. Is that not . . . fair?
We would never . . . kill one of you.”
Silence.
“I volunteer,” I
said. “I will travel to your home.”
“You . . .
volunteer?” Estant rasped.
“I do, too,”
Alejandra declared.
“Two,” the
imbrangilae said. “There must be . . . three more.”
“We’ll go.”
I turned to see
twins emerge from the crowd, a sister and brother, identical except for a long
scar down the girl’s face.
I knew them.
Outcasts, forced to scrounge in alleys for food. I’d tried to speak to them,
but they’d spurned me, expecting to get bullied or tricked.
“That will do,”
Estant said. “Forget the fifth.”
“They’ll die!” a
man shouted.
“We won’t,” I
said. “We’ll be just fine with the imbrangilae.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I trust
Nabil.”
I don’t think he understood our speech, but
Nabil shrieked.
I smiled.
“Then we have an
agreement,” Estant roared, rearing. “You humans will . . . forget this day, as
you forget . . . everything else. But there will . . . be a time when you must
remember . . . and do not overlook the detail the imbrangilae could kill you
all.”
He took off.
“Good luck, Corey!”
my father shouted, as Nabil walked up.
“Goodbye,
Father.”
I jumped onto
Nabil’s back as Alejandra awkwardly hoisted herself onto another imbrangilae.
The twins, I had
to notice, were more graceful.
Nabil lifted up
and soared into the clouds, but not before I peered back down at Renaissance.
Such a small
place.
I couldn’t wait
to see the rest of the world through the imbrangilae’s eyes.
**********
And, finally, I'd like to give a big shout-out to the hosts of REN3: Stuart Nager, Lisa Vooght, J.C. Martin, and Damyanti Biswas. Because they've been amazing throughout this blogfest.
-----The Golden Eagle
43 comments:
Congratulations. I'll have to read your story again. Good luck.
HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!! It reads brilliantly as one piece - the third installment being the most powerful for me! Good luck Golden Eagle!!! I have everything crossable crossed for you!! :-) Hooorah!! Take care
x
That's awesome! Congrats! So, if you make it to the shortlist do we get to vote? Make sure you put the link up if I we can!
Congratulations and good luck!
Oh my gosh, congratulations!!! :) You so deserve it, it's a fantastic story!
It will be great to see your efforts on the short list.
Congratulations on the long list.
Golden, great to see you long-listed! Great term! I wish you all the best for your fabulous story.
Denise
Way to go! Being on any list is good, right? As long as it's not the black list. ;)
I enjoyed this! Wow. Very cool. Congrats and good luck! =D
Congrats on being long-listed. I hope you make it. Let us know when the voting starts.
Congratulations!! It really is a wonderful story!
That's fabulous. Well done, you.
Fingers crossed for the shortlist! It's a fabulous story - I love the dialogue and the touches of humour(e.g. ....you were supposed to marry me ...!)
Best of luck
Karla
Congratulations, and very well deserved. Good luck in the judging :-)
Congrats on being on the longlist Deniz, that rocks!!! :)
Congrats and I am sure you will be one of the winners...I will be voting for you when the polling starts.
Wow! That's Awesome!!! If we get to vote, let me know so I can vote for you. I loved the story!
Oh I love your description and the fantasy elements with the imbrangilae’s knobbles. Congratulations and Good luck!
Congrats, Eagle! :)
~Sofie/The Dandy Lioness
Richard: Thank you! :)
Old Kitty: Thank you so much!
I'm glad you liked it all together, as one story.
E.R.: Thanks!
I'll definitely post the link when the shortlist is up--whether I'm on it or not. There are some amazing entries on the longlist. :)
Liz: Thank you!
Bethany: Thanks. :D Glad you like it!
GigglesandGuns: Thank you. :)
Denise: Thank you so much!
Donna: Right. :) LOL.
RaShelle: I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you!
Clarissa: I will. :)
Saba: Thank you!
Deborah: Thanks. :)
Karla: Thanks--I'm glad you like the humor. ;)
Stuart: Really? Astonishing . . .
That would be great to read!
Sarah: Thank you! :)
Trisha: Er, my name isn't Deniz--thanks, though. :P LOL.
Rekha: Thank you so much! Though I'm in no way certain of being on the shortlist.
Tyrean: I'll be posting about the shortlist on Monday; can't wait to find out what it is.
Madeleine: I'm glad you enjoyed the description. :)
Thank you!
Sofia: Thanks! :)
She's moving on up to the upper-east side*
*vague expression of a street corner populated with cafes and diners with writers, laptop wielders and coffee snobs.
Congratulations! I enjoyed reading all the entries together.
Good luck on this. And congrats for the short list.
Hi Golden Eagle - well done is all I can say and good luck for tomorrow methinks .. it is the 7th .. cheers - Hilary
Congratulations on making the longlist, that's fantastic news! Much deserved!
MyTricksterGod: Sounds good . . . except for the coffee. I've never drunk the stuff. :P
Medeia: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Charles: Thanks. :)
Hilary: Thank you!
Heather: Thanks!
Congrats on making the short list! Good luck in the voting. I enjoyed your story from the start!
Congrats on making the short-list! Great story!! Voting will be tough...
Awesome story, really good. Good luck in the contest!
I am really pleased for you-but not surprised. After following your blog for a while, it is obvious that you have both the dedication, creativity and the skill to be successful.
I am really pleased for you-but not surprised. After following your blog for a while, it is obvious that you have both the dedication, creativity and the skill to be successful.
Just dropped by to say congrats on getting shortlisted. ^_^
congratulations on making the final voting round! It's a lovely end to the story - good luck!
Corinne: Thank you. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Jenna: Thanks!
Fred: Thank you!
Paul: Thank you for the compliment. :)
Misha: Thanks! Congrats to you, too. :D
Kurt: Glad you liked the ending!
Thanks.
Congrats Golden! I am so glad you were shortlisted!
I have enjoyed this right from the beginning.
You have my vote.
It's still as funny and action-packed as when I last read it! Congrats GE. :)
Congratulations on making the short list! Excellent entry! i loved the humor. And I loved the whole concept and name of the imbrulgiae (which I'm not spelling right because I can't see the page anymore :)) Good luck in the voting!
Congrats on making the short list.
Way cool Golden, congratulations on making the short list :)
This was intriguing and well paced. I liked how the details of the world and the characters developed with each paragraph. Good work on the transitions from one perspective to another.
I sense a budding relationship with the two formerly betrothed :) And this had both an ending, and a beginning feel.
Well done.
.......dhole
Michael: Thank you! :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Colleen: Thanks. :D
Susanna: Thank you!
I had trouble remembering how to spell it, too, when I first made it up . . . maybe I should have used something easier. :P
Thanks!
Barbara: Thank you. :)
Donna: Thank you so much.
There might just be something there between them. ;)
I'm glad you liked it!
Congrats on making the shortlist! =) Awesome job! I've enjoyed reading your story and hope to see you in May for Part II.
May-Day_Aura: Thank you! :)
I look forward to reading your entries in May as well!
Love your finesse of dialogue to tell your tale.
Good luck!
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