How To: Writing An Awesome Blog Post

If you're a blogger, then you've probably been in that position where you have a hard time coming up with something--anything--to write about.

Fear this stage no more, my friends, because I've compiled a List of Things To Do When Stumped for Post Topics. Ready? To the first item!


1. Stare at the Post Editor/word processor in vain for an hour and systematically erase all post titles you come up with. Yes, even "Look, A Fabulous Post You'll Definitely Want To Read!".

2. Fidoodle around old drafts you never published but decide they're not good enough to post. Do some cleaning out while you're at it: Finally, no backlog of random posts that shouldn't see the light of day!

3. Check your reader stats. Nothing is more intimidating (and more likely to stop you from writing another word) than scrutinizing a graph and trying to figure out how to increase your numbers.

4. Read a book you've been meaning to finish. No, you're not going to finish it in time to use it for a review. But forget the present--in the future you'll need it . . . see, you're being sensible!

5. Wonder if anyone else in the blogosphere is up for guest posting within, say, fifty minutes. Someone else has got to be available to do the work for you, right? What was that? Darn it, reality is twisted.

6. Get something to eat. Food. Cures everything. Must have food to write a good post.

7. Discover that food does not always bring flashes of writing brilliance. Drink something to compensate.

8. Notice the device you're using needs a clean-up job. Ugh, fingerprints are so unsightly. And for the love of blogging, DIE you evil smudge!

9. Consider Rickrolling your readers but decide that isn't going to get you extra views. How about a duckroll? Anyone?

10. Decide to write a post with blogging advice because you're obviously such a success at this thing. Attempt to be entertaining. Doom and gloom and the zombocalypse always work.

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But in all seriousness, how do you go about coming up with blog topics? Do you write down your ideas beforehand or just type down whatever comes to mind?


-----The Golden Eagle

Advice I'd Give To Students On Writing

It recently came to my attention that I've been nominated for the Top Writing Blogs Award by eCollegeFinder (definitely a surprise!). Nominees are encouraged to write a blog post directed toward students about how to improve their writing skills, and while it isn't a requirement, I thought I'd do it anyway.

My advice?

Write and read as often as you can. I suppose this could really apply to a lot of writers, not just students, but it's such a staple I think it's worth saying.

Write, because writers aren't called that for people-watching, much as they do it. Write novels, short stories, novellas, flash fiction, whichever strikes your fancy, in whatever genre. Finding your niche, the genre(s) and style(s) that you're most comfortable writing and can write the best, will probably take some experimenting.

You will write horrible stuff sometimes, and other times it will feel like you'll never produce something good enough to see the light of day. But forge on, because the act of writing can inspire, and also because being a writer takes time--and work.

Another thing? Perhaps think about trying some challenges, if you're the sort who likes them (or even if you're not) and you have the time; they're a great way to test your limits and see just what and how much you can accomplish in a set amount of time, or for a specific goal.

(SOURCE)

Reading books, the other element, is also quite important, because there's a lot to learn from a book you enjoy and even from a book you hate. With a story you dislike, you can find out what it is that bothered you and why--and be sure not to make the mistake yourself in your own projects. And the good ones are excellent demonstrations of how to write.

Do think about what influenced your opinion of a story after finishing it: was it the writing, plot, setting characters? Did the author use an interesting POV or did the character have an interesting voice? Do the plot twists come as often as they should, are there holes you could drive a truck through? All of those factors are important in creating something that will appeal to readers, and they are certainly worth considering. (Book reviews can be a great way of spelling out your thoughts--there's even a demand for them).

(SOURCE)

So, again, my advice would be to write and read. They're closely interlinked. Without one, there would be no books, and without the other, we'd all be talking to an empty void. Writers write to be read, readers hope there will be writers to satiate them. Being a writer can be tough, but it's also very rewarding when you come up with something that's meaningful to you. And it's even more gratifying when a reader comes along and finds something in it as well; and the more you discover about the craft, the more likely it is that they will.


-----The Golden Eagle

What To Do When You Have Serious Writer's Block

1. Get extremely frustrated.

2. Groan and moan and wail because your novel is just not working.

3. Scowl for hours because no new ideas arrive.

4. Fire the Muse.

5. Turn into so much unresponsive goo.

6. Reform out of goo and attempt to drown yourself in outrageously loud music.

7. Sit in bed and sulk.

8. Try to avoid using something or someone as a punching bag. Unless it's an actual punching bag.

9. Beg the Muse to return.

10. When the Muse does not, devour some sweet food and groan and moan about that when you have an achy stomach.

11. Contact aliens and get abducted to some strange planet.

12. Discover that you still have your novel on the brain.

13. Demand the aliens return you so you can get back to working on your novel.

14. Regain hope.


***DISCLAIMER: The author of this post accepts no liability for accidents/injuries/etc. that may be a result of these instructions.***


-----The Golden Eagle

How To: Writing

Here are some instructions on how to write a best-selling, awesome-sauce book that agents and publishers will snap up in about 5 seconds:

1. Use run-on sentences; you know, the kind that get really, really, really, really long because for some reason the writer has a complex that doesn't allow them to write short sentences, and then they go off on tangents, like saying that tangents are really cool in trigonometry but since that has absolutely nothing to do with the original subject they try to circle back but that doesn't work because the reader has already abandoned the novel to pick up something like Ernest Hemingway because at least he didn't bore or frustrate the brains of the reader with long, run-on sentences that go on, and on, and on, and take up entire paragraphs.

2. Tell instead of show. Why? I'm telling you not to show, people! Don't do it! What did you say? Oh. Why on Earth would I want to explain what I'm telling you? I'm telling you already.

3. Use little description. For example: it's a forest. It's green. Plus some trees. Or, there's the ocean. It's blue. There are waves. Or, the sky is blue. There are white clouds. The sun is bright and, darn it, it hurts the eyes. That is all.

4. Use a lot of -ly and -ing words. They are just so wonderfully long, and they sound very good when they're scattered randomly over the page; particularly when they can be replaced perfectly well with other words that aren't so irritatingly -ing and -ly -ish. It's precisely what people really want to be reading.

5. Use a lot of slang and bad grammar. DUDE, I ain't kidding you! Perfect language is so, like, overrated, man, and I hate them grammar check and spell-er thingies. So, like, lame-o.

6. Use a lot of swear words. It's a *%&$!@#$ good idea.

7. Use a lot of short sentences. To the point of being annoying. And choppy. Well. Because. They're short. They say little. They're fast. Readers love 'em.

The end of writing advice.


DISCLAIMER: Note that to actually write a good book, you should do the opposite of the above listed. I accept no liability if you take me seriously.

Just kidding. But in all solemnity, dude, I'm telling you to go finish that &*%# first draft of yours since what else is editing for?


-----The Golden Eagle