27 September, 2011

The Imago Has Finally Been Found—Or Not (Second Campaigner Challenge)

Jing strolled along the skyway, three hundred feet above the stifling masses. The city was an unending cacophony of sound, a ceaseless barrage of sights—and the smells, from the miasma of the poorest neighborhoods to the perfumed compounds of the rich, were enough to make your head spin.
   Coming from a backwater where time seemed to oscitate and nothing changed, Jing felt he had more of a right to be bowled over by the city than anyone else, to find it overwhelming. Yet the more he explored its corners, watched the city-goers—even spoke to them—he felt there was a lacuna.
   In his hometown you knew everything there was to know, both present and past, and it oppressed him; here, all you passed were strangers and unknowns.
   Jing stopped and leaned against the side rail, pressing his head to the clear glass. He stared at the city below.
   The synchronicity of the aerocars, buses, pedestrians—it all felt orchestrated by some grand designer who’d decided spontaneity was evil.
   The city had energy, but no soul, and nothing it did mirrored his own mind.
   He straightened.
   Off it was to yet another city, in another galaxy, for another try.


About this challenge:
Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
  • include the word "imago" in the title
  • include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.
For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!

My piece is exactly 200 words, includes all four random words, has "imago" in the title, and I referenced a mirror. Also, the character's name--Jing--means mirror in Mandarin Chinese.

What do you think? If you enjoyed this piece, I would greatly appreciate it if you went over to THIS POST and clicked "like" for my entry, #137 in the linky list.

-----The Golden Eagle


Angela said...

I like the science fiction feel.

Heather said...

I LOVED this! How inventive and original. It made me want to know more about the main character and definitely made me want to keep reading!

ali cross said...

I *love* this one! Probably my favorite so far. Great job! I'm posting mine tomorrow. It was HARD - and you made it seem easy. :P

ruth.the.writer said...

Nothing like a good sci fi story. It seems the words just fit perfectly in there. Terrific! I'm #44 :)

F.E. Sewell said...

Great descriptions! You've created a beautiful, realistic world. Excellent job!

Old Kitty said...

Wonderful!!! Absolutely different to the ones I've read so far - and a fab story too!! Yay!!! take care

Sheri L. Swift, Author said...

Very interesting piece, I def wanted to read more! ; )

David P. King said...

You really have a knack for this sci-fi business. I need to take lessons from you.

Great job, Eagle! :)

Jennifer Hillier said...

Beautiful writing! Great flow.

Jemi Fraser said...

I hope Jing finds a city with soul soon! Great job :)

Emily Rose said...

I clicked "like"!

Jenny S. Morris said...

You have created an interesting world. I hope he finds what he's looking for. ;0)

Connie Keller said...

I really enjoyed that. Thanks.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Yours is one of the best so far!

Sarah Tokeley said...

I loved this. It definitely feels like the beginning of something fantastic :-)

Kerri Cuev said...

Great usage of the random words. Great entry!

Anonymous said...

Love it. Great use of those crazy words!

Jen said...

I love that he is looking for a city with a soul. That's a beautiful image.
Mine is #3.

Unknown said...

I love the sci-fi feel to it! I hope he finds the right city.

Unknown said...

What emotional resonance you created here. Great job!

shelly said...

A great beginning to something.

Christine Rains said...

That was great! Wonderful use of the words and you made it flow so effortlessly. I love the alien world and the protagonists emotional search.

Christina Farley said...

I really felt as if I were there. Lovely descriptions.

Carrie Butler said...

Great entry, Eagle! I loved it! :)

Fun fact: Jing is also the name of my favorite screen capture program. :)

Ciara said...

I love a good sci-fi story. Great job with the challenge!

Michelle Merrill said...

This is AWESOME! I love your descriptions and emotion.

Arlee Bird said...

You created a great scene here and used the words very well. This is one of the best entries I've seen.

Tossing It Out

Rob-bear said...

Truly fascinating, m'lady. Wonderful. I can see and feel it all.
And you've finally convinced me that I should take a short at writing something other than what I usually write.
Bear turns his snout and paws to the computer, and with a tap, tap, tapping on the keys, begins to create.

Weaver said...

Nice! I want to know what Jing is "trying" for.

Anonymous said...

Great sci-fi piece. I'd like to read more.

Stuart Nager said...

Very nicely done, GE. Made me really look forward to your writing for Rule of Three even more.

and there is the reason for the 800+...versatility with good writing

Charles Gramlich said...

I like this. Some very nice writing can come out of these challenges.

E. Arroyo said...

Love this. I could see and feel through your MC. Great job!

Felicity Grace Terry said...

Loving your story, I followed the link in order to vote but alas couldn't find any clear instructions on how to do so - help.

Jennie Bennett said...

I LOVE your title! And the story is really good too. I love the feeling I got from the sights and sounds. Great job!

scribbleandedit.blogspot.co.uk said...

Bravo! Fabulous! :O)

Mark said...

Sweet and to the point! Nice use of the various word choices too:)

Deniz Bevan said...

That's a great story! I hope he finds what he's looking for...

Catherine Johnson said...

Brilliant entry. I think this is the best one I've seen for using the words in a natural way.

Jen said...

I really enjoyed this!!! Great job and superb sci-fi feel :)


Francesca Zappia said...

I loved that it was science fiction, and I thought you did such a great job of working the words in without making them heavy-handed or hard to swallow. Great job, and good luck with the challenge!

K. M. Walton said...

Hey - fellow campaigner here - we're in the same YA group as well. I spotlighted you over on my blog : )

K. M. Walton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael Di Gesu said...

This was AMAZING Golden. I loved the way you weaved the words into the prose so seamlessly.

Sci-FI is not usually something I love, but this is so well written you are making me a fan.

Golden Eagle said...

Angela: I'm glad you like it! :)

Heather: Thanks!

Glad you enjoyed this piece.

ali: Thank you!

LOL. It wasn't so easy to put together and make sure it was only 200 words!

Ruth: Thank you! :)

F.E.: Thank you so much!

Old Kitty: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)

Sheri: Thanks. That's what I was aiming for!

David: I should taking lessons from you--your entries have been amazing!


Jennifer: Thank you. :)

Jemi: I do, too.


Emily: Thank you for liking my entry! :D

Jenny: So do I.

Connie: You're very welcome! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Alex: Aw, thank you!

Sarah: I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I might turn this into something longer sometime . . .

Kerri: Thank you! :)

Raelyn: Thanks! They are rather random, aren't they? :P

Jen: I had hoped it would shed some light on his character--and the city he's observing from above. :)

Daina: Glad you liked it!

Angelina: Thank you. :)

Shelly: Thanks!

Christine: Thank you!

This is one of the few times I've tried putting so much emotion into a flash fiction piece . . .

Christina: I'm glad you liked the descriptions. :)

Carrie: Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Wow. I'll have to check it out, seeing as it's named after my character. ;D

Ciara: Thank you!

Michelle: I'm glad you enjoyed them!

Golden Eagle said...

Arlee: Thank you so much. :)

Rob-bear: I hoped readers would be able to get a sense of the scene.

I'm looking forward to reading what you create. :)

Donna: Thanks!

A place where he can feel at home; a city that's welcoming to someone like him.

Though what he's like, exactly, I'm not entirely sure quite yet . . .

Medeia: Thank you! :)

Stuart: Thanks!

I really must get my posts ready for the Rule of Three Blogfest. The dates are rapidly approaching!

Charles: I'm glad you liked it!

E.: Thank you!

Tracy: Hopped over to your blog and commented, in reply. :)

J. A.: Thanks! :D

Madeleine: Thank you!

Mark: I'm glad you liked my entry.

Deniz: Thank you!

Catherine: Thank you so much. :)

Jen: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Francesca: Thank you! :)

K. M.: Thank you so much for the spotlight!

Michael: Thanks!

There can never be too many Science Fiction fans. :)

Author A.O. Peart said...

This is really well written - very engaging and thought-provoking. It would make a great story - maybe you could consider writing more?

Jes said...

Wonderful wordcraft here, Golden (hope I can call you that!). The theme is awesome too; really gives those words--a bit tricky I thought,lol--true weight and meaning for your character. Well done!

Elizabeth Varadan, Author said...

Ah, what an interesting take on the challenge. I liked the atmosphere of loneliness that built up, and the poignant idea of this alien traveling around galaxies in search of something.

C D Meetens said...

Your writing flows beautifully, and you've interwoven the challenge's words in such a seamless fashion, despite how little use they get in everyday language. Great!

Tyrean Martinson said...

I love this story! I wanted to know more, and travel with the character to the next place. Great entry! I agree with Ali Cross' comments - you made it look easy. Great writing!

Golden Eagle said...

Angela: Thank you! :)

I'm thinking about it. I like the idea, but I have other projects in the works at the moment.

Jes: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. :)

(And feel free to call me Golden. People address me with all sorts of variations on my name when blogging.)

Elizabeth: Glad you liked it!

C D: Thank you so much. :)

Tyrean: Thanks!

LOL. It certainly isn't that easy; it was tricky getting those words to fit into the story!

Jocelyn Rish said...

Excellent use of the words to paint a very vivid world, as well as the character's reaction to that world.

Cherie Colyer said...

Love this line, "time seemed to oscitate". Great job!

Paul Tobin said...

I have voted for you. I liked your piece, it is an interesting challenge. I may have a go myself, anyway good luck!

K.T. Hanna said...

Really like this one. Fantastic use of words and I love the sci-fi feel to it.

Joanna said...

I clicked on your about to check you gender - you write a very strong and convincing male voice!

Golden Eagle said...

Jocelyn: Thank you! :)

Cherie: I'm glad you liked that line.


Paul: Thank you so much for voting for my entry!

I look forward to reading yours, then! :)

K.T.: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Joanna: Thank you. :)

I never really thought about voice specifically before. I just like writing through a male perspective.

Carla said...

Very fun! I love the idea of hopping off to another galaxy!

Golden Eagle said...

Carla: Thanks! :)

Joelle said...

Loved it. You brought me into the world you created and now I would like to visit more and see where Jing goes next.

Alison Miller said...

LOVE this!!! What a great entry!

This is my favorite line:

The synchronicity of the aerocars, buses, pedestrians—it all felt orchestrated by some grand designer who’d decided spontaneity was evil.

Great job!

Avery Marsh said...

Your piece captured that longing for adventure that makes me wish I was standing next to Jing, ready to take off to his next destination. The imagery is fantastic, and you weaved the words and sci-fi elements in such a smooth fashion. Love it.

Claire Hennessy said...

Very nice indeed. I really enjoyed this. You worked the words in so I didn't even feel like it was an effort. I felt the story was complete with beautiful descriptions. You have a new follower and I'm definitely voting for you :)

MISH said...

This is really good ... I'm fascinated by this although I'm not a sci-fi fan ! And I loved the ending ! My entry at no.#185

Karen deBlieck said...

There is a great sense to belong from your MC in this piece. You did a wonderful job of incorporating all those words (including Jing your MC). Great job!