Coming from a
backwater where time seemed to oscitate and nothing changed, Jing felt he had
more of a right to be bowled over by the city than anyone else, to find it overwhelming.
Yet the more he explored its corners, watched the city-goers—even spoke to them—he
felt there was a lacuna.
In his hometown
you knew everything there was to know, both present and past, and it oppressed
him; here, all you passed were strangers and unknowns.
Jing stopped and
leaned against the side rail, pressing his head to the clear glass. He stared
at the city below.
The
synchronicity of the aerocars, buses, pedestrians—it all felt orchestrated by
some grand designer who’d decided spontaneity was evil.
The city had
energy, but no soul, and nothing it did mirrored his own mind.
He straightened.
So.
Off it was to
yet another city, in another galaxy, for another try.
**********
About this challenge:
Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
- include the word "imago" in the title
- include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.
For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!
My piece is exactly 200 words, includes all four random words, has "imago" in the title, and I referenced a mirror. Also, the character's name--Jing--means mirror in Mandarin Chinese.
What do you think? If you enjoyed this piece, I would greatly appreciate it if you went over to THIS POST and clicked "like" for my entry, #137 in the linky list.
-----The Golden Eagle
66 comments:
I like the science fiction feel.
I LOVED this! How inventive and original. It made me want to know more about the main character and definitely made me want to keep reading!
I *love* this one! Probably my favorite so far. Great job! I'm posting mine tomorrow. It was HARD - and you made it seem easy. :P
Nothing like a good sci fi story. It seems the words just fit perfectly in there. Terrific! I'm #44 :)
Great descriptions! You've created a beautiful, realistic world. Excellent job!
Wonderful!!! Absolutely different to the ones I've read so far - and a fab story too!! Yay!!! take care
x
Very interesting piece, I def wanted to read more! ; )
You really have a knack for this sci-fi business. I need to take lessons from you.
Great job, Eagle! :)
Beautiful writing! Great flow.
I hope Jing finds a city with soul soon! Great job :)
I clicked "like"!
You have created an interesting world. I hope he finds what he's looking for. ;0)
I really enjoyed that. Thanks.
Yours is one of the best so far!
I loved this. It definitely feels like the beginning of something fantastic :-)
Great usage of the random words. Great entry!
Love it. Great use of those crazy words!
I love that he is looking for a city with a soul. That's a beautiful image.
Mine is #3.
I love the sci-fi feel to it! I hope he finds the right city.
What emotional resonance you created here. Great job!
A great beginning to something.
That was great! Wonderful use of the words and you made it flow so effortlessly. I love the alien world and the protagonists emotional search.
I really felt as if I were there. Lovely descriptions.
Great entry, Eagle! I loved it! :)
Fun fact: Jing is also the name of my favorite screen capture program. :)
I love a good sci-fi story. Great job with the challenge!
This is AWESOME! I love your descriptions and emotion.
You created a great scene here and used the words very well. This is one of the best entries I've seen.
Lee
Tossing It Out
Truly fascinating, m'lady. Wonderful. I can see and feel it all.
And you've finally convinced me that I should take a short at writing something other than what I usually write.
Bear turns his snout and paws to the computer, and with a tap, tap, tapping on the keys, begins to create.
Nice! I want to know what Jing is "trying" for.
Great sci-fi piece. I'd like to read more.
Very nicely done, GE. Made me really look forward to your writing for Rule of Three even more.
and there is the reason for the 800+...versatility with good writing
I like this. Some very nice writing can come out of these challenges.
Love this. I could see and feel through your MC. Great job!
Loving your story, I followed the link in order to vote but alas couldn't find any clear instructions on how to do so - help.
I LOVE your title! And the story is really good too. I love the feeling I got from the sights and sounds. Great job!
Bravo! Fabulous! :O)
Sweet and to the point! Nice use of the various word choices too:)
That's a great story! I hope he finds what he's looking for...
Brilliant entry. I think this is the best one I've seen for using the words in a natural way.
I really enjoyed this!!! Great job and superb sci-fi feel :)
Cheers!
Jen
I loved that it was science fiction, and I thought you did such a great job of working the words in without making them heavy-handed or hard to swallow. Great job, and good luck with the challenge!
Hey - fellow campaigner here - we're in the same YA group as well. I spotlighted you over on my blog : )
This was AMAZING Golden. I loved the way you weaved the words into the prose so seamlessly.
Sci-FI is not usually something I love, but this is so well written you are making me a fan.
Angela: I'm glad you like it! :)
Heather: Thanks!
Glad you enjoyed this piece.
ali: Thank you!
LOL. It wasn't so easy to put together and make sure it was only 200 words!
Ruth: Thank you! :)
F.E.: Thank you so much!
Old Kitty: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)
Sheri: Thanks. That's what I was aiming for!
David: I should taking lessons from you--your entries have been amazing!
Thanks!
Jennifer: Thank you. :)
Jemi: I do, too.
Thanks.
Emily: Thank you for liking my entry! :D
Jenny: So do I.
Connie: You're very welcome! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Alex: Aw, thank you!
Sarah: I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I might turn this into something longer sometime . . .
Kerri: Thank you! :)
Raelyn: Thanks! They are rather random, aren't they? :P
Jen: I had hoped it would shed some light on his character--and the city he's observing from above. :)
Daina: Glad you liked it!
Angelina: Thank you. :)
Shelly: Thanks!
Christine: Thank you!
This is one of the few times I've tried putting so much emotion into a flash fiction piece . . .
Christina: I'm glad you liked the descriptions. :)
Carrie: Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Wow. I'll have to check it out, seeing as it's named after my character. ;D
Ciara: Thank you!
Michelle: I'm glad you enjoyed them!
Arlee: Thank you so much. :)
Rob-bear: I hoped readers would be able to get a sense of the scene.
I'm looking forward to reading what you create. :)
Donna: Thanks!
A place where he can feel at home; a city that's welcoming to someone like him.
Though what he's like, exactly, I'm not entirely sure quite yet . . .
Medeia: Thank you! :)
Stuart: Thanks!
I really must get my posts ready for the Rule of Three Blogfest. The dates are rapidly approaching!
Charles: I'm glad you liked it!
E.: Thank you!
Tracy: Hopped over to your blog and commented, in reply. :)
J. A.: Thanks! :D
Madeleine: Thank you!
Mark: I'm glad you liked my entry.
Deniz: Thank you!
Catherine: Thank you so much. :)
Jen: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Francesca: Thank you! :)
K. M.: Thank you so much for the spotlight!
Michael: Thanks!
There can never be too many Science Fiction fans. :)
This is really well written - very engaging and thought-provoking. It would make a great story - maybe you could consider writing more?
Wonderful wordcraft here, Golden (hope I can call you that!). The theme is awesome too; really gives those words--a bit tricky I thought,lol--true weight and meaning for your character. Well done!
Ah, what an interesting take on the challenge. I liked the atmosphere of loneliness that built up, and the poignant idea of this alien traveling around galaxies in search of something.
Your writing flows beautifully, and you've interwoven the challenge's words in such a seamless fashion, despite how little use they get in everyday language. Great!
I love this story! I wanted to know more, and travel with the character to the next place. Great entry! I agree with Ali Cross' comments - you made it look easy. Great writing!
Angela: Thank you! :)
I'm thinking about it. I like the idea, but I have other projects in the works at the moment.
Jes: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. :)
(And feel free to call me Golden. People address me with all sorts of variations on my name when blogging.)
Elizabeth: Glad you liked it!
C D: Thank you so much. :)
Tyrean: Thanks!
LOL. It certainly isn't that easy; it was tricky getting those words to fit into the story!
Excellent use of the words to paint a very vivid world, as well as the character's reaction to that world.
Love this line, "time seemed to oscitate". Great job!
I have voted for you. I liked your piece, it is an interesting challenge. I may have a go myself, anyway good luck!
Really like this one. Fantastic use of words and I love the sci-fi feel to it.
I clicked on your about to check you gender - you write a very strong and convincing male voice!
Jocelyn: Thank you! :)
Cherie: I'm glad you liked that line.
Thanks!
Paul: Thank you so much for voting for my entry!
I look forward to reading yours, then! :)
K.T.: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Joanna: Thank you. :)
I never really thought about voice specifically before. I just like writing through a male perspective.
Very fun! I love the idea of hopping off to another galaxy!
Carla: Thanks! :)
Loved it. You brought me into the world you created and now I would like to visit more and see where Jing goes next.
LOVE this!!! What a great entry!
This is my favorite line:
The synchronicity of the aerocars, buses, pedestrians—it all felt orchestrated by some grand designer who’d decided spontaneity was evil.
Great job!
Your piece captured that longing for adventure that makes me wish I was standing next to Jing, ready to take off to his next destination. The imagery is fantastic, and you weaved the words and sci-fi elements in such a smooth fashion. Love it.
Very nice indeed. I really enjoyed this. You worked the words in so I didn't even feel like it was an effort. I felt the story was complete with beautiful descriptions. You have a new follower and I'm definitely voting for you :)
This is really good ... I'm fascinated by this although I'm not a sci-fi fan ! And I loved the ending ! My entry at no.#185
There is a great sense to belong from your MC in this piece. You did a wonderful job of incorporating all those words (including Jing your MC). Great job!
#189
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