The wolves howled in the distance and the raptor shrieked overhead. The wind blew softly and the grass swished in its wake.
The goldfish bowl slid closer to the edge.
The river splashed across the rocks. The fish swam among the ripples, flashing bright in the night's darkness. The trees creaked, their branches dipping low and swinging high.
The goldfish bowl began to fall.
The wolves began to run, heading for their destination. The raptor spiraled upward, then dived toward a target only it could see.
The goldfish bowl shattered.
All was quiet.
*****
To find out more about this Crusader Challenge, or if you want to visit the others also participating, go HERE.
-----The Golden Eagle
63 comments:
Very nice! Great description. :)
Nice work. Very exciting in so few words.
Yes, very nice indeed!
Very exciting, Golden.
Terrific imagery in such a short piece.
Oh, this is intriguing.
Jai
Great imagery! I'm really impressed by writing a poem for the flash fiction piece!
Lovely imagery, and a nice format. The goldfish bowl, shattering amongst the circle of life. :) Good job!
You definitely have a great way with description! Thanks for dropping by mine! Good luck!
Some lovely description here! Really comes full circle - nice. :)
Nice one.
Can't wait to read the science for A-Z.
Nahno ∗ McLein ™
Nice twist to the the goldfish and its bowl!
BTW, I'm hosting Roland D Yeomans today, who self-published his book THE BEAR WITH TWO SHADOWS and is sharing his journey with us as well as a four book giveaway!
I'm enjoying these! I missed the deadline for this Crusade, but hoping to get in on the next one. The style reminds me of haiku.
I loved your setting, and the way you wrote it is like a poem. Which I love :)
This was extremely exciting to read. Thank you for posting it :)
Very interesting- I get the impression from this piece everything was coming from the goldfish bowl. Nicely done
Won't someone think of the goldfish bowl? Tee hee. I'm loving reading these flash fictions entries.
Golden Eagle!! What a stunning piece!!!! Wow!!! I love the juxtaposition of the teetering gold fish bowl about to crash and the bigger picture of raw and powerful nature at its most savagely instinctive!!! Wonderful! Take care
x
Well done. Good imagery, and leaves some mystery while still feeling complete.
Nice - I love how it built up and then everything got quiet :)
Well, I liked the imagery, but I came away not sure what it all meant - what the connection was between the fish and the other animals. Maybe I'm coming at it from too literal or pedestrian an angle... :-/
You crafted a very visual and textured scene, well done!
Interesting imagery! I loved reading it!
nice
Very vivid imagery, great job!
wow I am so impressed with your word painting skills :)
awesome writing, and what a great flash!
Just lovely writing!
Beautiful, and it even matches your blog background.
I love the description in this Eagle!
Cherie: Thank you! :)
Deborah: Thanks!
Sherri: Thank you!
Michael: Thanks! I'm glad you think so.
Jai: Thanks. :)
Sierra: It did come out poem-like. I didn't intend for it to happen!
Carol: Thank you!
Mary: Thanks! :)
Loved reading your entry, BTW.
Donea: Thank you!
Nahno: Thank you.
I'm working on them. ;)
Nas: Thanks!
I'll definitely hop over to check out the post! I'm avidly following the tour.
Li: I hope you do become a Crusader! It's a lot of fun . . . even having to follow everyone. :)
I hadn't intended it to be that way--but I like it. :D
M: I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Michael: Thank you for reading it! :)
Summer: Thank you.
In a way, it is. I wanted the goldfish bowl to mean something other than just being a goldfish bowl about to fall. ;)
Alleged: I'm enjoyed them, too!
Old Kitty: Thank you so much!
I love the way you described it. At first, I hadn't meant it to have that sort of scope--but then I thought, "Why not?"
Ben: Thank you!
Trisha: I really wanted to end with that line. :)
Chris: I just meant it to have a connection; there really wasn't any specific reason for it or anything. :P
Glad you liked the imagery!
The Words Crafter: Thank you!
Misha: Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)
Taio: Thank you!
J.C.: Thanks! :)
Sylvia: Thank you so much!
And thanks for coming by my blog. :)
Charles: Thank you!
Jen: Thank you. :)
Catherine: I hadn't thought of that! But I suppose it does. :D
Ali: Thanks!
Ooh, that's cool. And I love how you use animals!
This is great, very well written! I love the transition from the various noises of nature to the silence at the end.
I'm so excited! I had the honor of being your 500th follower!
I love your site and as I browsed your blog I decided to award you the Creative Blog Award.
Go to http://astorybookworld.blogspot.com/p/awards.html and pick up your award.
~Deirdra
Great job! I was completely intrigued!! :D Nice chatting with you today by the way! :)
There was great atmosphere in this piece Golden. Loved it.:D
Wow. That was excellent. Loved how you built up the tension in this, working towards that shattering bowl. I can only imagine what you could do with a longer piece. Great imagery!
Congratulations on reaching 500. You have an interesting site here with lots of thoughtful writing.
Congrats on hitting 500 followers and for helping me get sooooo close to that goal myself!
Great images in that poem. Such a creative way to interpret the flash fiction challenge.
I read a couple of these today, I enjoyed yours and could see that raptor!
Ooh, that was so cool! :D
beautiful and amazing
Well done, Golden. Tight, to the point with lots of action. I loved this.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium.
Ha! Great entry for the challenge. It's a little different and I like that.
It makes me want to read more, and find out the significance of the goldfish bowl. Love the raptor touch, very exciting.
What an excellent entry! Nice job.
Good job!
Have a great weekend.
Evocative imagery, Golden Eagle. Great job!
Fantastic piece, your description and atmoshere is wonderful.
Enjoyed your entry for the challenge! Cheers!
I love the way you did this - there is so much to think about here. Nice job!
Well, that was certainly an 'on the edge of my seat' post, thanks for sharing it.
I LOVE this! It sounds beautiful and it's so intriguing.
A very striking piece! Very unlike the others I've read. Good job!
Michelle: Thank you!
I love animals. :)
Rachel: Thank you! :)
Deirdra: HURRAY! :D
Thank you so much, Deirdra! Both for the follow and the award--I just posted about both. :)
Chantele: Thanks!
That was a fun chat. :)
L'Aussie: I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Carolina: Thank you so much!
I've never really tried that sort of description in a longer piece--I think I might try. It was fun writing this flash. :)
Paul: Thank you for the compliment!
Anne: Thank you! :)
Thanks!
Brian: I love birds of prey.
Becca: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)
Alberta: Thank you!
Nancy: I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Lynda: Thank you!
Well, I wouldn't want to be the same. ;)
Emily: Hmmm! Imagine if a world was actually controlled by something like a goldfish bowl--oh, now I've got story ideas. LOL. :D
Thanks!
Julie: Thanks! :)
Medeia: Thank you!
I hope you do, too. :)
Cally: Thank you!
Margo: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)
Danette: Glad you enjoyed it!
Ishta: Thank you! :D
Tracy: You're very welcome. It was fun to write! :)
Sangu: I'm so glad you like it!
Witless Exposition: Thank you. :)
I practically had to get a second computer to scroll down your list of 8 million comments. Well done. Great descriptions, tone, foreboding and then the ending is so very tight. Loved it.
Wow, the imagery you crafted here is amazing. Very nice piece.
Hey I can't believe I didn't get to yours. It is beautiful. So descriptive.
Also 500! Wow! And to put everyone's name up in lights. Aren't you sweet!
Congrats on the awards. You are very deserving.
Sorry I don't get around enough but you know how it is. Thanks for your support of my blog too Golden.
Denise<3
Geez, what an idiot! I had read it. That's why I thought it was familiar. Anyhow, hello again!
Wow! Terrific imagery! Nicely done. PS - love the background for your blog!
Great description. Love your take on this challange :)
Jeanne: I hope I didn't slow down your blogging too much. :P Sorry about that!
I'm very glad you enjoyed it, though!
Kari: Thank you!
L'Aussie: No worries! It's easy to visit a blog you've already been too--I know I've done it before.
I hope the links come in handy! :)
Alison: Thank you!
Glad you like the background.
Kerri: Thanks! :D
Post a Comment