28 January, 2011

What To Do When You Have Serious Writer's Block

1. Get extremely frustrated.

2. Groan and moan and wail because your novel is just not working.

3. Scowl for hours because no new ideas arrive.

4. Fire the Muse.

5. Turn into so much unresponsive goo.

6. Reform out of goo and attempt to drown yourself in outrageously loud music.

7. Sit in bed and sulk.

8. Try to avoid using something or someone as a punching bag. Unless it's an actual punching bag.

9. Beg the Muse to return.

10. When the Muse does not, devour some sweet food and groan and moan about that when you have an achy stomach.

11. Contact aliens and get abducted to some strange planet.

12. Discover that you still have your novel on the brain.

13. Demand the aliens return you so you can get back to working on your novel.

14. Regain hope.

***DISCLAIMER: The author of this post accepts no liability for accidents/injuries/etc. that may be a result of these instructions.***

-----The Golden Eagle


klahanie said...

Luckily, I've never had that happen. Okay, maybe almost once. Thus, I did a posting about having 'blogger's block' which as I wrote about having blogger's block, actually showed I didn't have blogger's block and thus, I guess, I haven't really had that experience, but sometimes I've been know to do a run-on sentence, which is not good, so I shall suddenly end this comment and wish you all the very best with your writing endeavours. The end :-)

Donea Lee said...

Argh! I so identify with this, it's sad. #14's the keeper, though! I hope the steps work and you're back on track soon! Best of luck to you and your (quickly ending) writer's block ~ :)

Tere Kirkland said...

LOL, I do the same, except, first I usually try to add a new character to the mix and see what happens. Most of the time, nothing good. ;)

Holly Ruggiero said...

I tend to check blogs. ;)

Angelina Rain said...

Lol, good list. Sadly, I do some of those things. Have writer’s block? Eat a muffin. It doesn’t help, but do it anyways.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

15. Request aliens return your brain as well.

Heather said...

That sounds just like me, especially #6! LOL! Thanks for this humorous look at regaining hope!

Hannah Kincade said...

hmmm, I usually stop thinking about it all together. That usually works.

Rachel Morgan said...

So far this hasn't happened to me... But eating too much sweet stuff and getting stomach aches.. well, I don't need an excuse to do that!

Summer Ross said...

lol, thanks for the smile!

Bess Weatherby said...

Haha! This is great! Yes to the aliens!

Angela Felsted said...

How enlightening, now wonder I can't seem to get my muse back. No aliens!

Anonymous said...

Exactly. ;)

Christine Fonseca said...

Here's a huge dose of HOPE coming your way!

Sun Singer said...

I change my focus to something else, usually a really riveting book. That sort of clears out all the channels and allows me to think creatively again.

Kindros said...

And do it all like a boss. :)

Carolyn Abiad said...

Any tips on finding a good query muse? Apparently, I need to fire the one I'm using! (She rambles.)

Misha said...

Haha thank heaven's I've never met a block that bad.

I usually get better before the Aliens.


Edith F. said...

I generally get to the unresponsive goo stage and puddle for awhile. ; )

Here's a thought--what about a companion post about what to do when the Muse just won't leave you alone? (You seem like the ideal person to write it...)

Observatory of the Quotidian

Madeleine said...

LOL! Yes all of the above and then go out for a walk so long as the weather isn't too bad. It blows away the anti-muse cobwebs and aliens :O)

Laurel Garver said...

Aliens! Of course! Why didn't I think of that? Silly me. I've just been watching lots of movies and playing with my daughter and cleaning the house and, well, letting the ideas cook on their own, untouched, for a while.

mist of the blossom rain said...

Ha ha! Sounds like me...

Brian said...

Yes, of course, doesn't everyone?!?! Have a great weekend!

laughingwolf said...

some wag sed: give yer kids mental blocks for birthdays... and xmas!

wv: hyper

Ann said...

I have been suffering from this very dilemma of late. I haven't called on the aliens yet though. Hope your Muse decides to come home soon! Oh and by the way, when she does return would you ask her if she saw my Muse in Muse Holiday Land! And if there is any word on her expected return date!

Haleine said...

I've never tried the alien route. I usually go with housework or jogging. Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all this time.

A fun post!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I never seem to have trouble with my muse but if I do I want to try #11.

Clarissa Draper said...

Wow, you've pretty much summed up my last year. The aliens I encountered we're really nice. They spoke Chinese... oh, you mean outer space aliens. Gotcha.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by my blog.


Theresa Milstein said...

Unresponsive goo. Ha! Good way of putting it.

M Pax said...

I had a case week before last. Aaaa. Workouts often help me.

Carol Kilgore said...

This is great. I usually leave it for a day or two, then it comes knocking and wants attention.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Ooooo, strange planet. Don't forget to take a notebook. That ought to work.

Anonymous said...

2 usually works for me -- or hitting the trails on my bike -- or starting a fresh, new story I'm not invested in and feel free to screw up. Then that puts me in the right mindset for my Block-in-Progress: it doesn't have to be perfect the first time through. I can take it anywhere and clean it up later. Another option: ask the characters where they want to take you.

Jemi Fraser said...

That sounds about right! :)

Lydia K said...

I'm like Holly...I check blogs. A lot of them. And I read a book till I find one I like less than my writing. And it makes me want to write again.

Wendy aka Quillfeather said...

You failed to mention an attempt to drown oneself in outrageously expensive red wine. Kidding :)

I usually take the dogs for a walk along the beach. That normally soothes me. Normally.

Donna Hole said...

I veg in front of the TV and catch up on my favorite series'. And eat lots of Ruffles chips and dip and drink wine.

Eventually - through gluttony or drunkenness - something strikes me as write-worthy. Its usually pure trash, but I like editing and revising. Gets my creative juices going again.

Enjoy the hiatus; get back on the keyboard no matter what state of consciousness you're in when you feel the urge. Writing crap is writing somethings :)


Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Reorganize...Redecorate...Revise...or watch Reruns... (smile)

Have a great weekend!

Rachael Harrie said...

LOL, I think I had a goo day today!



Pk Hrezo said...

hee hee! I've never had writer's block, but I find taking walks and showers gets my muse working like it should.

Jules said...

LOL, I try to imagine what it really is like being my coffee pot :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

RaShelle said...

LOL - This is all too perfect! Beam me up aliens. I'm sure it'll only encourage my muse. =D

Robyn Campbell said...

To tell you the truth, I have never had it. *Knocking on wood*

The best way I would combat it though, would be to pick up a book and read. There would have to be an idea that pops into one's head after reading a great book.

I really hope it ends AND SOON! :)

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I recommend food, and not the type that's good for you.

The Golden Eagle said...

Klahanie: You know, that's happened to me, too, where I've said I had writing/blogger's block and then disproved it by writing a post of a good length, which just goes to show how easily it can be cured sometimes.


Donea: #14's the one I try to keep in mind.

Actually, I don't have writer's block--I was just writing this post for the fun of it.

Tere: I love adding characters, too. Butt sometimes I end up with way too many . . . LOL.

Holly: Me too, and sometimes it really does help! ;)

Angelina: Thank you!

Wait, is it blueberry?

Alex: How could I forget that one! Aliens must have brainwashed me into forgetting. ;)

Heather: You're welcome! Hope it helps.

Hannah: I try that, too, but it doesn't usually work for me. :P

Rachel: You're so lucky! It really has never happened to you?

Summer: You're very welcome! :)

The Golden Eagle said...

Bess: Come and join me in the ship. ;D

Angela: Hope your Muse comes back!

Shaynie: Awesome.

Christine: Thank you! And here's HOPE for you too. :)

Malcolm: I agree! Reading a good book can help a lot; I usually revert to my favorites whenever I'm experiencing a writing slump.

Kindros: Absolutely!

Carolyn: Query Muses R Us?

Misha: I've never called on aliens, either, but it's good to have a contingency, right? ;)

Edith: LOL. I'm usually stewing away at that stage.

Hmmm. I like that . . . thanks for the idea! :)

Madeleine: That helps me, too.

Laurel: It sounds like your method works, too!

The Golden Eagle said...

Emily: Hope it helps, then. ;)

Brian: I know I do!

I hope you had a great weekend!

Laughingwolf: Okay . . . :P

Ann: Want their number?

I'll be sure to ask. ;)

Haleine: Moving around helps me, too, usually. I hope your inspiration returns!

Glad you enjoyed it!

Susan: Go for it!

Clarissa: That sounds like it was fun! :)

I hope you had a great weekend!

Theresa: It's usually unresponsive, unreactive something, anyway. ;)

M Pax: Exercise helps, I agree!

Carol: It takes longer for me; sometimes up to a week, if it's a bad spell!

The Golden Eagle said...

Tricia: True!

Milo: Great advice!

I've tried asking my characters a few times, but it never really worked since my characters aren't really the kind that speak to their author--sometimes it gives me new ideas, though.

Jemi: Meet you on Planet Bjkwros! ;)

Lydia: That works for me as well!

Wendy: I don't have access to wine, so I have to go with the aliens instead. :P

That does sound soothing!

Donna: True, at least I'm writing no matter how bad it is. And then I'm back in the flow!

Sharon: Sounds like a plan!

Rachael: Don't stay that way for long! We'd miss you if you didn't blog!

Pk: You've . . . never . . . had . . . writer's . . . block? I am envious! I know I've had it over and over again. :P

Jules: Dark and hot, maybe?

The Golden Eagle said...

RaShelle: LOL. It does sound like the perfect situation for a Muse overload!

Robyn: That's what I do, quite often actually. It really helps, and sometimes I'll even take notes while I'm writing.

L. Diane: LOL.

Lindsay said...

I usually go running on the treadmill. Not my favorite activity but if I think about my scene, something about that forward momentum helps me figure things out. :)

The Golden Eagle said...

Exercise helps me, too. :)

Jen Chandler said...

HAHA! I LOVE your advice.
Especially the part about turning into a pile of goo and firing your muse.

My muse is long gone. I'm in the process of interviewing for a new muse. I've narrowed it down to a few candidates...surprisingly they're all former Greek dieties...