07 October, 2011

Definitions of Genres: A Comprehensive Guide

Having trouble figuring out which genre you write? Can't decide which genre is right for you? Here's a list that will help you get things sorted out, subgenres included--without actually have to read a single book!


Written by people who have fun predicting the imminent fall of humanity, SCIENCE FICTION is perfect for those who enjoy impossible circumstances explained by nonexistent "technology".
  • Military SF: Guns.
  • Hard SF: Incomprehensible gibberish about extremely complicated things that have zero chance at reality.
  • Soft SF: Disguised SCIENCE FICTION in the form that many people find more palatable, despite the fact it's even more muddled.

Comes from people who have a hard time with the separation between reality and fiction, and a fondness for the utterly . . . fantastical.
  • High/Epic Fantasy: Those who are even more out of it, with a flair for quests, hardship, and large dragons.

For and generated by dramatizing, melodramatic folks who can't figure out what to call themselves.

Individuals who can't get themselves to live in the present and dwell amazingly long on the past.

Folks who can't make up their minds about how they actually feel and frequently hang out with people who they profusely say they hate.

Those who adore outrageous, life-threatening risks and find satisfaction in getting chased by law enforcement.

In case you're in the mood for extreme anxiety, stress, and trauma, HORROR is the genre for you.

For the hormonal, young, and often desperate for attention, written by a surprising variety of people.

Is a great choice for compulsive fact-checkers and know-it-alls.


DISCLAIMER: This list is meant merely to amuse and entertain. It does not in any way express my actual opinions on these genres, as I hold all writers in respect for the time and effort they put into their work.

-----The Golden Eagle


L.G.Smith said...

"Fantasy--Comes from people who have a hard time with the separation between reality and fiction, and a fondness for the utterly . . . fantastical."

Uh, guilty. :)

Budd said...

I didn't realize it was a joke till I got to fantasy. I was like, "what the heck, man." then I was like, "oh, I get it."

Sun Singer said...

What a fun listing. Oh, but are you suggesting there is a difference between fiction and reality?


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I am amused!
My publisher puts mine in science fiction - space opera/adventure. Falls in the 'soft' category I guess.

Javid Suleymanli said...

I really like it. The last one is so funny :)

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Guilty as charged! I always have a hard time between separating reality and fiction, and yes, I AM even more out of it. :)

Sananora said...

Nice list :)

Murees Dupé said...

Awesome post! Very funny and very entertaining. You did a great job.

Old Kitty said...

LOL!!!!!! I'm so glad I believe in dragons - the bigger the better! Yay! LOL! Take care

M Pax said...

I want to see humanity fail and fall. Yes. lol Great list.

In reality I like writing about aliens and weird things.

julie fedderson said...

So if you write paranormal fantasy romance, can you be indecisive and love shape shifting ghost dragons?

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

LOL. Lots of them make sense to me and like Budd, I didn't realize it was a joke when I read the SF descriptions.

Donna Hole said...

You mean dragons aren't real?

This was a lot of fun. Thanks for the laughs.


The Dandy Lioness said...

Love it! Definitively guilty of the Fantasy one.

nutschell said...

I love it! nearly fell off the chair laughing. I especially love fantasy definition.I mean fantasy writers really have a hard time telling fiction and reality, don't they?
Wait, hold on my pet dragon is calling...

Jen said...

Great list! I don't write thriller but I wish I did: "...satisfaction in betting chased by law enforcement."
Love it!

Deniz Bevan said...

Don't say that about romance! I love writing romance but can't stand reading those stories where the hero and heroine sleep together but keep insisting they hate each other. Ick!

Angela Ackerman said...

OUCH! Good thing you put that disclaimer up...I can only imagine how many pitch forks were being fondled and how many torches lit as people read! LOL, well done. :)

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

Sarah Pearson said...

Excuse me. I need to go and write a fantasy novel ...

Donna K. Weaver said...

Wonderful! You made me smile and keep reading when I really need to go to bed.

Jessica Bell said...

LOL! I've never been able to figure out what to call myself, so um, yeah, this may be a joke but it has an element of truth! Hahahaha.

BornStoryteller said...

Nice GE. I like Magical Realism, tossed with an existentialist twist, and finished off with a theological rant on the meaning of the Mote in you know who's eye. Start the evening off with a nice warm soft scifi, and ahhh... heaven.

Tale Spinning

C D Meetens said...

This made me smile! Great definitions.

Milo James Fowler said...

Good breakdown; I enjoy mash-ups and cross-overs that muddle these divisions beyond distinction.

M.C. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
M.C. said...

YA: "written by a surprising variety of people." I found that especially entertaining. Great post.

Charles Gramlich said...

What about folks who love all of these? Like Me? I guess I need to be institutionalized. :)

The Golden Eagle said...

L.G.: Me, too. LOL.

Budd: Hmm . . . got to wonder what that says about SF, then!

Malcolm: Perhaps there isn't such a big difference, once you get down to it. :)

Alex: Glad it amused you!

I actually think of Space Opera as being closer to Hard SF than Soft, usually . . . then again, depends on the book.

Bethany: LOL. Sometimes I am, too. ;)

Sananora: Thanks!

Murees: Thank you. :) I'm glad you liked it!

Old Kitty: Me, too. Nothing beats dragons!

Mary: So do I. :P


Aliens are awesome. Weird things, too.

Julie: Hey, why not! :)

Susan: I'm surprised by that . . . though I did try to base some of these on "facts". :P

Donna: You're very welcome!

The Dandy Lioness: Same here. LOL.

Nutschell: I'm glad you enjoyed it!

They do. I speak from experience writing it. ;)

Jen: Thank you!

I find it often happens in Thriller--and Mystery. The characters just keep getting the cops on their tail or something like that. :P

Deniz: See the Disclaimer. I've run into Romance which I liked a lot! :)

Angela: Thank you. I'm still alive, though . . . it seems no one's taken up those writerly weapons just yet!

Sarah: Me, too. High Fantasy, perhaps.

Donna: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it--though I do hope you got some sleep. :P

Jessica: It's actually kind of cool the way the genre's name changes (though it's harder for us book reviewers). A bit like the subject matter--it's so varied. :)

Stuart: Thank you!

I agree. :)

C D: Thanks. :D

Milo: I do, too. It's always a lot of fun to read something that's unique in that it blends the different genres.

M.C.: It seems to me--which I think is a good thing. There are lot of different perspectives that way!

Thank you!

Charles: I probably wouldn't be terribly far behind; I love a good book in any genre.

Cally Jackson said...

BAHAHA! This post gave me a good giggle. And I needed one this morning - thanks, Golden Eagle. :-)

Angelina C. Hansen said...

You definitely amused and entertained me. Thank you.

Simon Kewin said...

Heh. Mind you : "people who have a hard time with the separation between reality and fiction" - that would be every person who's ever lived then, no?

The Golden Eagle said...

Cally: You're very welcome. :)

Angelina: Anytime!

Simon: You have a point there. :P

E.D. said...

Short and sweet and funny! :-)

Reece said...

Hahahahaha! Loved this list. Hope nobody gave you guff for it.

The Golden Eagle said...

E.D.: Thanks! :)

Reece: Not yet . . . maybe the disclaimer helped. :P

laughingwolf said...

lol... hilarious! :D